Ferry Inspiring

This might be a sad meal, but it’s a great looking flag design for the imaginary (for now) nation of Veganuhduh. This photo comes from @megandoojam who says: “We’ve all been there. This was the inspired dish I ate on the ferry back to the UK from France, haha.”

Sorry you took the ferry — I heard the Chunnel has a vegan drive-thru now.

I can’t wait for the day when the most common question heard at the United Nations is: “Where does your country get its protein?”

And unlike a certain former President of the United States of America, the President of Veganuhduh will not “once a week or so, have a helping of organic salmon or an omelet made with omega-3-fortified eggs, to maintain iron, zinc and muscle mass.” 90 percent of our budget will be devoted to iron, zinc and muscle mass! All hail Veganuhduh!

ferry

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Nice day for a white breading

You know the old saying, “see a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck. Invite a Vegan, feed her bread, your marriage will last until you’re dead.” by @eat_drink_and_be_mary (or in this case, nibble_drink_and_be_mary) who says: “How to spot the #vegan at the wedding. LOL #help”

Dear Vegans, if this meal doesn’t look appealing to you, may I suggest you never do anything that could land you in the slammer (and no, I’m not using “slammer” as a metaphor for marriage).

One day, I know it’s coming, someone is going to send us a wedding photo of an onion sandwich. It will happen!

Breading

Watermealon Weekend

Watermealon #5 “The Wedding Mealon” in our watermealon series from our watermealon period by @__jessica__annn__ who says: “The only thing for me to eat at this wedding reception is watermelon🍉 #vegetarianproblems” 

I hope you did like my mother-in-law does and brought your checkbook without filling in the amount until you saw what the food is like.

All these watermealons have left me wondering: What are vegans fed in winter?! Stay tuned to find out!

weekend

Summertime and the starvin’ is easy

Mealon #4. Can’t. Even.

This photo comes from @alicesweet_  who says: “my fourth of July feast. a cookout of 28 people and no one thought to ask about a special diet. go figure.”

We don’t mean to lecture you Alice, but it was Independence Day and independence means not being dependent on your hosts aka PREEATING. That’s why the 4th of July is our patron holiday here at whyveganspreeat! We’re just kidding. Your hosts can stick a firecracker up their rump roast.

summer

What, no chips?!

Watermealon #3. Another senseless crime against innocent vegan victim @gloria1771: “Awesome company picnic for the 4th of July. Look at all my #vegan options. Not a single veggie burger to be found. #alwayspackalunch”

As readers of this blog know by now, the proper crappy meal for vegans is chips and watermelon. So we can’t help but ask: WHERE ARE THE CHIPS?!

Would this employer serve burgers without ketchup? I don’t think so! Are we really supposed to make a waterwich with nothing but pickles?!

wathermealon3

Watermealon

Happy July 4th, internet strangers! Be safe out there today– don’t forget to pre-eat…unless you want a watermealon!

This photo comes from @glarkie, who says: “Barbeques aren’t usually vegan friendly 😭”

Here’s what our research has uncovered: 71 percent of watermealons include chips. East of the Mississippi, these chips are used to make a Waterwich by placing two to three chips between slices of watermelon. However, west of the Mississippi, a thin slice of watermelon is placed between two chips (hence the knife).

Two very different approaches, yet we all come together today as one nation, a nation of vegans who pray our host will toss the veggie burger we brought ourselves on the part of the grill free of animal goop.

watermealon

TGINI!

TGINI! (Thank God It’s Not Iceberg) by @glennapril who says: “Being a vegan wedding photographer is a bit of an adjustment. #whyveganspreeat At least there’s salad.”

Glenn supplements his work as a wedding photographer by shooting lettuce porn.

Is there something wrong with me that I feel a kinship with that tomato?

“Okay, onion slice, take two steps to the left. Perfect. Now carrot shred, turn to the side and point your tip toward me.”

lettuce

 

Substifruit

Mixed race grapes AND pretzel sticks…the only thing missing from this dinner is a seat at the table.

This photo comes from @marysew who says: “Why vegans pre eat: My “dinner” on a conference… while everyone else is feasting 😩 “

How come everyone else gets a meal while we just get fruit? Fruit is not an adequate substitution!

If you’re gonna serve your dessert as our meal, at least make it chocolate!

fruit

 

Optiveg or Pessiveg?

What kind of vegan are you? When you look at this plate is it half-full or half-empty? I just see one lonely couple: The Gherkin-Florets.

This photo comes from @leah_j_chutko who says: “No offense to the hosts since I didn’t RSVP. Thankfully I did pre-eat as a wise #vegan should. #vegansofig#vegetarian#veganfail#becausepigsarecute#dinner#weddingshower#whatveganseat”

Um, did she reach down and tear her meal out of the lawn?

halfempty